Conversation with Mai Xi Lee
Spring 2023
We are grateful to TEL 2020- 21 Cohort member, Mai Xi Lee, for speaking with us about her leadership journey since TEL, and what it truly means to lead for equity and justice.
Please tell us more about your current leadership role?
I currently serve as the Social Emotional Learning Director for the Sacramento County Office of Education. We engage with leaders from all 58 county offices of education in a community of practice, to ‘build the capacity of the capacity builders,’ by supporting their implementation processes in their regional hubs, and with their focal schools and districts. I think we’re making some great gains in terms of building SEL literacy, and most importantly, in threading and connecting SEL more explicitly to equity efforts that are also happening across the state. It is exciting that we are building this on-ramp to truly deepen and live up to the potential of transformative SEL, and have that be the DNA of what California is all about.
How did your TEL experience inform how you lead in your current role?
TEL was extremely impactful for me, personally and professionally. TEL happened for me at the peak of the pandemic… and the tensions of both trying to survive and to understand, as a systems leader and educator, what we needed to provide for our students, families, and colleagues.
In my experience of TEL, it was the container, rhythm and routine, and the love and care of the community that was really powerful. It was engaging in this community that deeply cared for each other… and the bonus of meeting regularly with my AAPI sisters in the supportive, loving space of our racial affinity groups, which by the way, we have continued.
Professionally, TEL was extremely transformative in the way that I learned to embody a lot of the tenets of the beloved community and what it means to lead for equity and social justice. From TEL, I learned to say, ‘Here’s where the action piece needs to come in.’ For example, I had opportunities to think through ways to push our system to be intentional about antiracist practices. Through being in TEL, and having that collective energy and support, I was emboldened to take some agentic actions with my leadership team to insist on, develop, and facilitate antiracist learning sessions. And these sessions have continued for leaders, and are expanding to include classroom teachers and support staff.
Through TEL, how has looking deeply at your identity as an Asian American educational leader informed your leadership?
That deep introspection really caused me to think about the ways in which I was adhering to the myth of the model minority and to stereotypes that have been attributed to particularly Asian American women—as silent, put my head down, get to work…And what I recognized was that the model minority myth was not serving me or my community. Instead, it has done so much harm in hiding a lot of the layers of trauma that our communities continue to struggle through. I also have my own pain and trauma as a refugee, English-language-learner woman navigating this system that was not built for me. And the past few years of anti-Asian violence that we’ve seen serves as a reminder that our place in this system is not solid.
Still, as an Asian American woman leader sometimes there are times where I can navigate through spaces a lot better than other minority groups. And I acknowledge those privileges, and ask what do I do with that privilege? So, in looking deeply, TEL helped me to realize that I needed to get better at not only interrogating who I am and how I show up as an Asian American leader, but really, what am I leading for? And what are the actions that I need to take to deepen my capacity as a leader for equitable change?
What have you learned from your TEL experience about building a beloved community?
Certainly as much love as we had in TEL, we also had to navigate through some pain points. I learned it is really important for a beloved community to think through how we navigate and show up in the painful moments… because it is not an option to turn away. In this beautiful journey, there are going to be ebbs and flows and tensions, but you don't turn away. The analogy I love is from Bruce Lee, which is to be like water. There are times where the water is super smooth and times where you have huge boulders in your way. But like water, you keep moving. You lean in, you reshape, and you move around the boulders. You're not ignoring them but it's also not a deal breaker in that we continue to support and love and care for each other.
Any final learnings you would like to offer to others who join the TEL journey?
We had john a. powell in one of our sessions, and he spoke about breaking and bridging. And I remember you saying that as Asian Americans, we can be a bridge that connects different groups together to be a support. That really resonated for me, but I'll say that bridges can break too if they're not fortified… So, the analogy is that TEL provided the support, the scaffolds and the fortification I needed to continue being the bridge for my students, their families, and the community to withstand adversity and the challenges ahead.